Advice for the "Rents"

Dearest Moms and Dads,

I cannot express in words my gratitude for all that you have done for your children. Raising a tiny human and molding them into an adult is the toughest job the earth has ever seen. It is a job as old as procreation and as confusing as the task of defining our existence. There are no definite rules engraved in stone that tell you how to bend and shape your creation. There are guidelines, but never has a person created a manual to raising your tiny bundle of joy.

You come home from the hospital carrying a complete stranger and smiling like an idiot. Years pass by. You and your child become acquaintances. More years pass by, and you reach a point where you can even call each other friends. Then a short year or two later, and you're back to living with a total stranger that you "just don't understand, God." Where did you go wrong? What sort of twisted plot is this? Why were you not given any warning?

There really is no way to explain this. It's not your fault. These kids are changing and learning their identity. They're experimenting and testing their self control. There is no such thing as making mistakes- everything happens for a reason. Your are not to blame for your child. Do not feel ashamed of how you raised them. Do not feel ashamed for who they are or how they make you look, because their satisfaction with themselves is much more important to your relationship than what other parents think.

While you do this, don't become their best friends- that will happen once they move away from you for the first time. You are responsible for them, so set boundaries and enforce them without exceptions. Children need a strong provider, so that when tough times come along, they can look to you and see a force that the mishaps of life will not break down.

Each child is special and different from the next, so learn their strengths and weaknesses and work with them. Each child also deserves alone time with their parents away from their siblings.Never pick favorites, it only causes problems within the family.

Do not amend the mistakes of your childhood by living them out through your kids. Your almost professional golf career should not be thrust upon your clueless toddler.But do appreciate your children's talents and unique qualities. Honesty is just as much of a talent as wiggling your ears.

Never. Count. Down. From. Three. To. A. Teenager. This method will only get you a nasty remark and a slammed door in your face. The only exception to this rule is if you're counting down the seconds to the New Year or if the three of you are about to skydive out of an airplane.  

It's alright o be afraid of letting your child grow up. It's okay for you dads to want to lock up your daughters in their rooms until they turn 45, because that way, those bad boys on the street won't be able to influence her sweetness. It's okay to want this, but don't do this.

Courtesy. Manners. Respect. Those are words in the dictionary, you know? They've become less and less visible in public places with the passing years, but that doesn't mean proper etiquette should go extinct altogether. You never know how far these skills will take them in life.

Find a medium ground between raising a brat and raising a robot. Over gratification and under gratification are both unpleasant traits to have and hard to get rid of later in life. How to find that medium balance-I don't know. But when you work it out, the reward will be sweet.

The '50s had it all wrong with parenting methods. Your standard mom n' pop n' two kids suburban family should not define what you consider family. The bonds you create with your children and the relationship you end up having with them cannot be laid out by a thirty second ad. You create the meaning and definition of family.

Whatever they wish to do, always support them. After all, you are the guiding forces in your children's search for meaning. Men and women can be mothers and fathers, but only truly special parents can be called Mommy and Daddy.

Truth is, all we really want from you is unwavering love, approval, and acceptance. All that we do, we do it for you, so throw us a bone.